12-8-07 Cottagers fail. Im in New York. No bike.

My beloved Cottagers have lost. They scored in the opening minute on the pitch and then held off Arsenal  for the next 80 minutes until the equaliser was scored. Our keeper Tony Warner was ace, and equal to almost everything that ARSEnal could throw at him. In the end it was too much and too many mistaked by Fulham defenders that ruined it.

So Im in a foul mood and I would like to take it out on my bicycle but i cant BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ONE FOR NOW. Bollocks. I may have to look into renting a machine for the week, I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know that i will have time to be arsed with it though as it going to be work from sunup to sundown supposedly. Maybe I can just run in circles beating myself in the head with something and ill feel better, yes ill try that.

Last night when I arrived here I met up with some of the others involved in the project and we went to an extremely nice Japanese restaurant where i stuffed my face with all sorts of vegetarian sushi, and agedashi tofu. It takes a lot of Japanese food to fill me up and that translates into a lot of money but in the end i successfully spent a lot of money (not mine) and still was not full. It was great food though.

Time to get to work.

New York Tomorrow!

Leaving this morning for New York! I have design job for which ill be staying in the Hamptons for a weekend…ill post pictures! Unfortunately i cant bring my bicycle. We will see if i have a nervous breakdown without it. I got a job as the art director for a south asian (Indian) fashion photo shoot. I hope it will help me to get my name out there, as it should be good publicity.

Cant wait.

a letter.

In response to this article:

http://www.shortnorth.com/PedalPusher/PedalPusher.html

i wrote this letter:

Hallo,

I take issue with what you have defined as a “cyclist” and a “lifestyle cyclist”. Simply because you RIDE A BICYCLE does not make you a cyclist. You don’t have the heart to make cycling your life, therefore you have no right to make judgements about what makes a “cyclist”. You say “cycling is a superb form of transportation, not a lifestyle”. This is grossly inaccurate, cycling IS a lifestyle, NOT a form of transportation for self important yuppies, or “great fun and terrific exercise”. I am one of those “lifestyle cyclists” as you say, and CYCLING is my life. Not simply any of those other things that you say it is. Yes i cycle to get places, yes i cycle for fun and exercise, but more than anything i do it out of LOVE, something you obviously don’t, cant, or wont understand. I cycle in the rain, snow, and intense heat, something im certain you don’t do. I can hear you now, “oh, i don’t feel like riding today, I’m too tired/its raining outside/its too hot” pick any of the above. I ride because i LOVE it, more than anything else, i ride because i HAVE to, i ride out of OBSESSION, PASSION, and because it is the most intense addiction i have felt in my entire life. At the end of a 100 mile race, with sweat dripping and legs ready to give out, what keeps me going? “oh gosh this is fun”, or “I really need to get some goody boy i cant wait to get there, i hope the race route goes by there”? No. What keeps me going is desire, heart and most of all LOVE. All things that people that simply ride bikes wont understand. That is the difference between you and I, sir. You just ride a bike, I am a CYCLIST. I suggest you amend your article accordingly.

Ill post his response when i receive it…

Todays Ride 09-8-07 Rain+Awful Restaurant Service.

Todays Statistics:

Total miles:25.4

Max speed:30.7

Avg speed:18.5

Near Death Experiences:0

Clif Bars eaten: 2

I’m starting to tire of not having time for long rides. I love riding fast and sprinting, but i feel rushed. Between school work and 9idsfklsl;afd’s; yeah. Anyway, rushed to university, showered, was almost late for class and starving, with nothing to stuff in my face. Left class worked in the studio for awhile and then started the ride home, it poured. I was drenched. It was great.

So I tried to go to my favourite place to stuff my face, the Dosa Corner. Its a south Indian place, the best in the city. It is owned by one of my mates parents. I walked in there was only one table available and it was not cleared. I waited. Finally someone came and cleared it and I sat. They never came back, well no, someone brought a menu after about 20 minutes, and then never came back. After about 35-40 minutes of other tables being sat and served I left. Although not until i told them i was never coming back. I couldn’t believe it, I’ve been a regular there for several years. It was never dodgy before. Now I can never go there again.

Bollocks.

So I carried on to another place, had a wonderful dinner and i finally got to stuff my face. With potatoes. Brilliant.

Todays ride 07-8-07

My computer went mad. I have no idea what happened but it tells me that my max speed was 124.5 mph and my avg speed was 65.8, I WISH IT WAS SO.

It was an uneventful ride, around 30 miles all sprinting. Great.

Ive got nothing more to say.

How to get kicked in the balls.

Date someone. No, seriously. Just try it.

It’s the opposite of skittles and zima.

Skittles and zima is FUCKING AWESOME. I dont drink zima and i dont eat skittles, but i’d imagine the combination is absolutely magical.

Dating somone is like getting kicked in the balls repeatedly for hours on end. When i first meet a woman, im like “go ahead and just give my balls a swift kick, cause its gonna happen anyway, so lets get the ball kicking formalitites out of the way and at get at least one over with.

Maybe just step up to the whiffle ball bat or better yet the GIANT FUCKING RED BAT! But nothing beats a good ol’ fashioned kick to the groin.

Have fun dating.

Todays Ride 05-8-07 In the rain!+ Confrontation with car!

Todays Statistics:

Total miles:26.8

Max speed:31.1

Avg speed:18.1

Clif bars eaten:1

Near Death Experiences:1

Torrential downpour.  It was beautiful, raining steadily,  marked by intervals of rain so hard it hurt. Im not certain what the temperature is but it was really nice that it wasn’t searing my flesh. Just a pleasant almost spring like day, in the middle of summer. So i rode as hard as i could under the circumstances, and enjoyed the looks i was getting from people in their cars as they were clearly struggling to understand why i would voluntarily ride in the rain, i was wearing a specialised kit, so clearly i was not commuting.

As i returned home i came to a light that was green i was headed north as i started into the crossing, turning left and the light changed to yellow as i was about half the way through. Some muppet in the left turn lane of the traffic traveling east decided he would ignore his RED light and turn right in front of me, missing my front wheel by inches. He was driving a silver coloured BMW SUV. I stopped my turn and carried on straight, following him into a neighbourhood. I cranked all out to catch him, i pulled along side him as the speed limit was set at 25 and began yelling at him to pull over he slowed and rolled his window down and i asked him “why are you trying to kill me?” He said “i wasn’t even close to you” I said “you’re full of shit you ran the red light, why are you trying to hit me?” he said “whatever” and started to drive forward. I started cranking again and got in front of him stopped. He stopped and i said “im going to call the police and tell them that you’ve tried to hit me while you were running a red light” he said “look whatever, call the police, im sorry i ran the light but i wasn’t trying to hit you”  i said “piss off” and rode away, while watching my mirror.

I want to go back to that neighbourhood and flatten all the tires on his SUV or maybe smash his windows. I hope he parks on the street, but i cant see that happening.

Finally, jacket potato.

Yes im eating 2 of them now, well worth the wait.

Im enamoured. Sigh…the potato, gods greatest gift to man. Forget all that crap about love, mercy, and faith. Heaven is here on earth, now. It has been gifted to us in the form of a root vegetable. Heaven has a name and it is “Jacket Potato”.

The angels trumpets sound, and herald the arrival of the jacket potato.

Todays Ride 2-03-07 1000 MILES!

Todays Statistics:

Total miles:36.6

Max speed:35.2

Avg speed:18.4

Clif bars eaten:1

Near Death Experiences:0

Number of times the Militant Cyclist did that god awful Hyatts road hill: 4

I found that a trail i thought ended in one place actually carried on farther but there is no sign to tell you which way to go. It splits in two ways, one west and the other north. The obvious way (west) connects to a main road and seems kind of pointless as it turns into a sidewalk. But it turns to the north after you follow it for awhile, but it takes you severely out of your way. The not so obvious way is hard to find because you cant see that the trail is even there. You have ride across a big grass field and then the trail carries on again, but there is no way for you to know that it is there, and if you don’t have a mountain/cross bike what are you supposed to do? Why would they do that? A sign would be nice. Good planning, thanks.
But it doesn’t matter because i hit 1000 miles on the bike. A couple days past a months time. I feel good about it. Yep. Okay time to work.

Todays Ride 2-01-07

Todays Statistics:

Total miles:28.1

Max speed:30.7

Avg speed:20.7

Clif bars eaten:0

Near Death Experiences:0

I didn’t have a lot of time today to get miles in…argh. So i had to make do with sprinting to school and back home afterwards. Although i wore my new Castelli shorts today…it was like heaven was residing on my rear. I am not opposed to paying $160 for a pair of shorts that rides like that. The inside of the shorts were almost completely dry when i took them off, and they stay cool. I’m speechless. I usually ride Pearl Izumi’s but Castelli may have won me over. I still miss my Assos though…And now its time to get to work.

1000 is going to have to wait another day…sigh.

And i still want a jacket potato. I guess i know whats for first dinner.

I am wholly uninteresting today.