Fixies by the River

9 07 2009

“I was riding home from OSU yesterday evening on a fixed gear bike. You passed me on fixed gear bike. Its good to see somebody else that has not spent tons of money on bike gear”

Just to be clear, they were both riding FIXED GEAR BIKES, yes lets repeat that just so there are no misunderstandings here FIXED GEAR BIKES. Yes at least you didn’t spend a lot of money on your FIXED GEAR BIKE, but I’m sure you did on your chrome messenger bag or jeans from urban outfitters, so it all evens out in the end. In the meantime I’m sure i flew by these two on their FIXED GEAR BIKES at probably 15 mph faster on my 60 mile commute yesterday. But at least they were on FIXED GEAR BIKES. And coincidentally urban outfitters is now selling FIXED GEAR BIKES. I like where this is going. The bikes are made by the republic bike company, and are complete rubbish, not surprising considering urban outfitters is selling them. I read several reviews of the product and it sounds like one of those dreams you have where you are riding a bike and it starts falling apart beneath you…or maybe thats just me.  The bikes are customizable, a hipsters wet dream, and are made from the oh so quality “hi tensile steel” which translates to UTTER CRAP. You would be better off framebuilding with natural gas black iron pipe, and it’s painted yellow already so BAM customized! Enjoy riding your worthless FIXED GEAR BIKES together you shitting hipsters.


And this gem, a veritable treasure trove of grammar riches:

“i miss u so much that i cant stand it been with out u we have kids toghter i miss coming home from work to u and the kids i cant bleave that i let ten years go down the drain please give me one more chance i love u peace ”

Sounds like they should have given FIXED GEAR BIKES a chance, probably would have saved the marriage. Craigslist continually erodes my faith in humanity, I love it.



2 responses

5 05 2010
Republic Bike | Track bikes, fixed gear bicycles, fixies, Dutch bikes | built by us and you « Usedari's Blog

[…] is a funny and sarcastic review of the bikes by the Militant […]

18 12 2010

great blog.. have fun and be safe!

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